It was two years ago on this day (September 30, 2016) that I was going through our third back-to-back miscarriage in one year. I remember the heaviness that my body felt unlike any other to feel "labor pains" there in the darkness yet to know that on the other side of the deep breaths and contractions -- there would be no baby in our arms. I remember one day that week laying outside on our deck (cause it literally was uncomfortable to walk) in the sunlight with Nelson and Natalie in my arms as life still marched on -- with the joys and sorrows happening at the same time unlike anything I had ever experienced. My heart broken over the little ones we would not get to meet earth side. Yet my heart was overjoyed to have these blessings with me and not for a moment would I ever want to take them for granted.
At some point I shared some of our story here on our blog and decided that I was going to use the voice God had given me to not stay silent -- in hopes that being real and vulnerable could help someone else out there no that they are NOT alone. That was always such a comfort to me when I met people that came alongside me saying, "I have no words. Just know - I have been there - and it is awful." The bonds that the Lord started during that time go deep in a way (still to this day) that are hard to put into words.
As the months went on, people started contacting me that read this blog ... or had a friend of a friend going through something similar ... and we have been able to encourage one another and share our faith journeys along this road.
Fast forward to where we are today and we have a 9 month old baby in our family!! Praise the Lord we did not lose hope. Just yesterday -- a friend connected me with another friend that is going through a back to back miscarriage on this very day. I had not cried about all of this in a long time but last night when I had the opportunity to pray with this dear mother over the phone, the tears were flooding back. Today as I woke up to new mercies in the morning -- I knew that this was still going to be another hard day for her as she is still in the thick of it.
The point of me even having the desire to share this today is to ask you to join in prayer for two mamas:
1) Please pray for the dear mama that is going through yet another back-to-back miscarriage in this very moment. For strength. For hope. For the ability to grieve. For the encouragement from the Lord to feel His peace no matter what. For stamina to not lose the fight of faith as they pray and believe for another baby to come into their family. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:29).
2) Please pray for another friend that has been on a similar journey that is due with their baby this week. She has had so many losses and is quite frankly scared to death of another one but wanting to have faith that all will be well in the end. She is such a fighter and wants to believe God is good. It is such a hard journey. Pray that the "JOY of the Lord will be her strength" (Nehemiah 8:10) as she welcomes a healthy baby boy into their family in just a few short days.
Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post that I decided to turn into a blog post!
This was me trying to keep it "short and sweet"!! I know that details like this can often make some people squirm and feel uncomfortable. I also know that sharing like this can bring LIFE to some people in their darkest moments.
Pictured here is one of my treasured paintings from a college roommate when I was going through the miscarriages. The little picture is an ultrasound image of the baby we got to see (with the heartbeat) in February 2016. After the third miscarriage, I started using these three items from Young Living : Release, Progessence Plus, and Hope. One is what I diffused when I met with our Christian counselor. One helps to balance hormones. One is used for strength and stability of the emotions. These were part of the pieces to the puzzle that the Lord used to restore my body to a place of peace after so many losses. I have told many other mamas about these and they, too, have had positive experiences and a testimony similar to ours of how the Lord has used these amazing products to restore LIFE in the tough times. Don't ever hesitate to reach out if you need a listening ear or know of someone that could use some encouragement. Life is too short to stay silent and believe the lie that you are the only one. You are NOT alone. Thankful to know the LIVING GOD that is with us each step of the way and an army of mamas that would love to join with you in prayer as you walk out your journey.
