It’s That Time Of The Month...Get Your Budget On!!

What do Sunday nights...once a month...with the shredder, green tea, checkbook, stamps and spreadsheets all have in common? One word: BUDGET!

It’s not a joke that Team Nall actually enjoys our monthly time of going through our budget. Let me try and paint you a clear picture of how this statement is even possible...

It all starts with a Sunday afternoon. We choose the Sunday afternoon beforehand so that expectations can be clear in preparation for that time that comes somewhere in between 4pm and 8pm. Knowing ahead of time gives us plenty of time for that mental preparation - to get our Sunday naps, walks, and anything else in so that we can be solely focused on the tasks at hand. Brandon is great at going through the stack of bills and various pieces of mail that have stacked up on the right corner of the desk in the kitchen, getting out the oversized paper shredder that he inherited from his work, and organizing the table for success. (Oh, and he makes two splendid cups of green tea to get the natural energy flowing!!) I know my role is to log on to Regions and print out the last month from the first day to the last, staple the pages, and put the papers on a clipboard - with a pencil and a highlighter. I grab the checkbook and stamps so that we’ll be all ready for mailing our bills. Then I pull up our two budget spreadsheets on the computer and prepare for action. Once all the prep work has been completed, we start the budget time off in prayer - thanking the Lord for what He has blessed us with in this family. 

Brandon gets the clipboard and starts at the very first transaction of the month. It will fall into the category of food, other, gas, income, or one of our monthly bills. One of our spreadsheets organizes item by item of the food, other, gas and income - while our second spreadsheet keeps track of how much money is coming in and how much money is going out. It’s been very neat to do this for the past two and half years and now have the resources to look back on our progress and see how far we’ve come. 

There are three words that come to mind when we think of the budget: freedom, accountability, and challenging. There is freedom in the budget because you don’t feel guilty doing certain things inside your limits when you have a game plan (like going to a nice dinner, planning for a vacation and so forth). There is accountability in the budget because every dollar is accounted for on paper. And let me tell ya, it changes everything in terms of what you actually go and spend your money on when you know that you’ll be held accountable to the “clipboard role call” and the hubby sees all the visits to Puffy Muffin, Hot Pink and J.Crew! And last but not least, the budget is challenging because it does call you to living inside boundaries. I will add that this is a good kind of challenging! Once you get used to the challenge - it’s actually fun to live within the boundaries. You know what you have to spend and it’s a game to figure out how to make it happen. 

We will be the first to say that it’s not always easy to set aside a couple of hours to sit down and go through the budget. There are even sometimes when we may get a month behind. We can honestly say though, that we always feel encouraged to spend that time working through one of the “toughest things” - so the marriage experts say - which is money! At the end of every completed budget, B and I always look at each other and thank God for how blessed we are and we see exactly where our money is going. 

At the end of each budget review, we are reminded of how thankful we are for our jobs. The Monday through Friday grind takes on a whole new meaning when you see all the things you get to do and things you get to eat because of your jobs!! Once we see where all the money goes (aka: monthly bills...ha!), we look at each other and say, “And that’s why we work!”

We always wrap up budget time more encouraged and thankful than before we started. There’s no hiding anything when we go through the budget together...everything comes out in the open! It’s a way for us to love each other by being transparent. It’s GOD’s money anyways!! It’s freeing to go back to the bottom line and make sure we’re spending less than we make. It’s great accountability for seeing if we’re being good stewards with the money He has given us. And it’s challenging to honestly look at each item and see if what we’re spending the money on is worth it! 

Closing statement from the man of the house: “ Having a budget makes Team Nall stronger for sure. With freedom, accountability, and challenging goals - we can’t help but to grow closer.” 

Congratulations, Parker & Liz!

It is with hearts full of JOY that we congratulate my brother & B's brother-in-law on last night's engagement!! CONGRATULATIONS, Parker & Liz! We are so happy for you two & look forward to all that the Lord has in store!! 

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." -Psalm 126:3

Girl Time & Guy Time

Being with my giggly girls and eating at the latest and great frozen yogurt spot is just what this girl needs from time to time. In fact, I meet each Monday night with two of my soul sisters who know what’s going on in my life and can tell by a simple look what kind of day I’ve had.

Brandon has a group of guys that he can text in one minute and be playing basketball with in the next. They all share a common love for getting out and running around and it is really energizing for him to go hang out with them for a Saturday afternoon sometimes. 

I grew up going to an all girls high school and can be the first to say that I truly value time with my girls. It’s a life giving thing to sit down and be understood by the girls. Beth Moore says in So Long, Insecurity that (paraphrasing) we can’t expect our girls to be our guys and we sure don’t want our guys to be our girls. She says, “I once heard a comedian on television say that he’d finally come to conclusion that what a woman wants in a man is another woman. Isn’t that the truth? Don’t we frequently wish our men were more sensitive and nurturing? Don’t we wish they liked to eat at Souper Salad, see a good chick flick, and talk afterward about how it made them feel?” Then she goes on to say, “And then there are other times when we think if we have to hear another woman whine, we’re going to put our heads in the washing machine and hold our breath. You know you’re on the verge of unrealistic expectations when you want to tell your girlfriend to get some hair on her chest and take her situation like a man.” 

The truth is, there have been times when I said I supported Brandon going to hang out with friends on an early Saturday, when really I wished he was hanging with me running errands. It was after one bad round of Hobby Lobby and TJ Maxx, with Brandon with me, that I realized that it’s got to be ok for him to not be with me all the time. It was from that point on that we developed the saying of “you have my blessing” to go hang out with the guys. Now when Brandon is asking to do something, he asks first by saying, “Do I have your blessing?” It’s been a neat way for us to bond because he doesn’t want me to just say “yes” to him going and hanging out but then back at home holding a grudge that he’s not hanging out with me. It makes all the difference in the world when we know we have each other’s blessing for whatever activity with our guys and girls may come up. 

Basketball outings with the boys are so much more enjoyable for him when he knows his main squeeze has given her blessing. And dinner with the ladies to our favorite “girly” new restaurant around town are so much more delightful for me when I know that he has given me his blessing for our time. This weekend Brandon was in Baton Rouge hanging out with a family he knew from his LSU days and giving baseball pitching lessons to their son while I was hanging out with my family in Chattanooga. It was an enjoyable time for both of us knowing that we had each other’s full blessing. 

Closing statement from the man of the house: “This post is really just about love and encouragement. It means a lot to me when Whit encourages me (aka: gives me her blessing) to do things that I really want to do. Knowing that she is fully supportive,  makes me feel love and respected.” 

CAbi & Sports Leagues

As many of you know, my Mom is a CAbi Consultant for CAbi Clothing. She does a CAbi Show here in Nashville twice a year - once in the Spring & once in the Fall. Monday night was the Spring Show. It’s always fun when she brings the clothes because after all the ladies leave, I usually ask Brandon what some of his favorite outfits are and then I try them on and we pick out our favorite. This Monday night the fashion show started off a little different than all the rest. Brandon put down the “look book” and said, “Babe, let’s talk about our goals for our clothing!” Without even cracking up all that much, I took him seriously and sat down for a good talk. I shared with him that it’s my goal to buy a few items each Spring and a few items each Fall. I went on to point out that buying clothes from CAbi is making an investment in my wardrobe because they are such nice quality and fit well with the pieces that I have bought from previous seasons - they make nice outfits that build on each other. 

I then mentioned how Brandon signs up to play in a baseball league each Spring and a basketball league each Fall. I shared with him the analogy that this is like my sport...I play “CAbi”!! This was the word picture that clicked with him. He had shared that the reason he brought this up was because it looked like to him that our closet had plenty of clothes in it. I did agree - but I shared that I gravitate towards only wearing my CAbi for the most part these days and it’s worth it to me to only buy CAbi! (I also try to stick to my rule of thumb that when I buy something new...I get rid of some pieces that I have had for awhile that I no longer wear) This was yet just another funny thing that came up as a difference between guys and girls. I mean, let’s be honest, he’s still wearing some of the same Polo shirts that he’s had since high school. 

One of the funniest things we heard (on a Love & Respect  CD) before we were married that has still stuck with us is how you can literally say the same sentence but as husband and wife -  you translate it totally different. For example, when the wife stands in the closet and says, “I have nothing to wear” - she is meaning that she has nothing new to wear. When the husband stands in the closet and says, “I have nothing to wear” - he is meaning that he has nothing clean to wear. Hilarious! After sharing the line about “let’s talk about our goals for clothing” with a few co-workers and them being able to relate, we knew right away this would be something relevant for this week’s post! 

Closing statement from the man of the house: “Guys, as I mentioned to Whit...I am not saying no to the CAbi clothes...I am just saying YES...by all means...with limitations!!”

Keepin' It Real

Sometimes it seems like the one thing you set out to do is just HARD. For instance, at the start of this year we said that we want to post a new “marriage moment” once a week. We usually like to write our posts the night before and post our new message on Wednesday morning. Well here we are on the Tuesday night before our blog post is due and it’s been a long week. The past 24 hours have certainly been the best out of this week - a Happy Valentine’s Day it was indeed - but that still doesn’t erase some of the circumstances around us.

For instance, tonight was one of those Tuesday nights where you take Schlotszky’s Deli up on their offer for $2.99 Pizza Night! And that worked out just perfectly seeing that our kitchen is a bit out of order. Right at the end of our romantic Valentine’s meal last night - the pipe under the sink decided to start leaking. This was discovered when I went to use the disposer and the whole bottom half of my body got soaked. So this picture here is what our “nook” looks like right now...all the pieces that belong in the cabinet beneath our kitchen sink are spread across the floor. 

Our main point in creating this blog has been and will continue to be to give you a glimpse into our “real life”. Praying that as you peep your head through and look into the window we’ve provided - you’ll be encouraged in one way or another to know that life isn’t always picture perfect - but we certainly wouldn’t change a thing! There is a song by Matthew West called, “I Wouldn’t Change A Thing” and there’s a line in that song that says, “I wouldn’t change a thing...it’s perfectly imperfect...love will show you what you lack...love will laugh at all your plans”. We are constantly reminded to not take life or ourselves too seriously. Life is too short... May we all make time to get out the fine china and fancy silver once in awhile and celebrate all that the Lord has blessed us with! 

Closing statement from the man of the house: "Guys, call the plumber!!"

Sleeping Habits

Who would have thought that one who can’t keep his eyes open past 10pm would be such a fit for a night owl? It’s no joke that Brandon is ready to get in bed by 9:15pm on most working nights and 10:30pm on the weekends. You may ask what he does for a living that makes him so pooped - but that has nothing to do with it since he has honestly been this way before college. He even says that he went to bed early during his days at LSU. By the time 10pm rolls around, his eye lids had weights on them!

I, on the other hand, have been a night owl since I can remember. Back when I was in high school, Mom and Dad would know they could expect a “show” when they heard me coming around the corner to the living room. I would stand up on the fireplace hearth and dance a little jig and sing my latest diva greatest hit! When the clock struck 10pm...I was getting wound up & energized! 

So, where’s the marriage moment in all this? We have had to specifically address these differences because there are times, as you can imagine, where our natural tendencies have frustrated the other. Through continued communication on this topic, we are learning that this is how we’re wired. There’s nothing wrong with Brandon going to bed early or taking naps - just like there is nothing wrong with me having the tendency to get wired once the sun goes down!!  

Quite often, I just want to put on my boots and go out to meet everyone at the Wildhorse Saloon - but my “suitable helper” is already asleep on the couch and it’s only 8:55pm. Then there are times on Sunday afternoons where we are leaving church and Brandon can’t get home fast enough to make his palette for the “Sunday afternoon nap”. I’m thinking to myself, “It’s gorgeous outside...what a perfect day for a picnic at the park!” 

Whenever we talk this through, we find ourselves coming back to the point that, “This is my body’s natural tendency - and it’s something that my family has always done”. This statement speaks for both of us!  Brandon’s body is naturally tired at 10pm and his family loves to take naps - and my body is naturally wired at 10pm and my family loves to stay up until the wee hours of the night! He’s grown up taking naps - I hardly ever took a nap!

We are learning how to meet in the middle. I feel extra loved on the nights that Brandon wants to go by Starbucks so that he can stay up with me for a night on the town or some kind of “Whit-tastic adventure”. He is thankful that he has me to get him "out and about"!! On the other hand, Brandon feels supported when he sees that I am trying to slow down more, choosing to take naps, and making an effort to get in bed early. Not to mention, I have found that I am hardly ever sick anymore - because I am actually getting the rest that my body needs. Even though I don’t crave naps like Brandon does - I have learned to enjoy them! “I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the LORD sustains me.” -Psalm 3:5 - Rest is good for the soul!!

Just Have A Plan!

As Valentine’s Day approaches, lots of couples try to think of something special to do on February 14th. The fact of the matter is that we need to love each other every day like it’s “Valentine’s Day”. Something that I realized early on in our marriage is that the most special gift is when Brandon comes up with the plan! In other words, it doesn’t make a difference if he takes me to the park with a picnic blanket or downtown to a fancy restaurant - the fact of the matter is that he has the plan. Of course there is a time and a place for each - but here’s a great little story to show that you can have fun wherever you are! 

Our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple - we had only been married for five months. Brandon told me that he had something special planned for Valentine’s Day and that was all I needed to know! It didn’t matter to me what we did - I just loved that he had a plan! When the day arrived, he happily told me that he was taking me camping! He had the spot marked out and had planned for us to take our tent, build a fire, and be cozy as we camped for the night. We stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few camping essentials - then layered on the clothes and went out on our adventure. Little did either of us know, that the temperature would drop to around freezing! It didn’t matter since we had each other for warmth. Fortunately I had grabbed a packet of Hand Warmers at the last minute - so we literally passed the little hand warmer back and forth all night for heat. We also had planned for our awesome air mattress to fit inside the tent - needless to say, it was way too big for our little two man tent. Our cold night was spent sleeping on the roots of the ground that poked through the tent and Brandon getting up to continually put logs on the fire place to keep the wood burning. I am not joking when I say that was one of the most fun times - we were together and that was all that mattered. 

Two things to take away from this story! One, when your man shares his plan with you - if it’s not exactly what you would have picked out - support him in the fact that he came up with a plan. Two, us ladies really don’t mind what we do - just plan something!! I’m sure that most (if not all!) of the girls reading this blog can testify to the fact that we feel loved and pursued when our guy has a plan! This has been something that Brandon has learned - it’s taken a little time - but he has learned how much this means to me. Something for the guys to realize is that any plan is better than no plan. Don’t get hung up on trying to make it the most “perfect” or “pricey” plan - when you’re with your best friend...it will be fun! You have twelve more days to think about what you’re going to do to make this “Valentine’s Day” extra special. Brandon can testify to the fact that his greatest gift to me is not what we do...but just having a plan and thinking of something!!

We’ve heard from a lot of our blog readers that you’d love to hear Brandon’s side of these Marriage Moments. Truth be told, he is the primary editor of each blog post. He is not big on the writing or typing - but he reads each post and adds his two cents in what needs to be said or edited. We have decided to conclude each post from here on out with a “closing statement from the man of the house”...so here’s the first one of many...

Closing statement from the man of the house: “Guys, there are certain times when a girl doesn’t want to have to deal with decision making. This could be as simple as what to eat for dinner or what to do on a Friday night...and trust me...she’ll let you know when she’s feeling that way. And take it from me, when your helper needs help - just make a plan! It’s not rocket science! If she doesn’t like your plan - just let her know you were trying to love her!! Keep in mind, we make a plan because it’s an easy way to show our wives that we love them! And this is coming from a spontaneous guy that doesn’t like planning...”