We Have To Be On Guard

This week has been full of eye-opening occurrences with bill after bill where we must be on guard about where our money is going. As you may have read before, in our post “It’s That Time Of The Month...Get Your Budget On!!”, we are big budget people. The boundaries don’t frustrate us, they give us freedom. Each month we sit down and go line by line through our account and put each charge in one of four columns: Food, Other, Fuel, and Income. Then on our main spreadsheet we have our monthly bills and so forth. We can see from month-to-month how much our usual bills are. In other words, it’s flat out obvious when a bill is super high. You take into account, “Did you have the AC on more due to the hot temperatures? Did you go over on your minutes on your cell phone?” and so forth. 

Our next purchase is going to be a new washing machine...

Well, this month it seemed like there was a discrepancy here, there, and everywhere...from Verizon...to the Dish Network...and so on. We had our marching orders set out for us the next day - phone calls that we needed to make to get to the bottom of this. There are always these little charges they try and slide in - which is why we have to be on guard. We have decided to go back to the “old school” way of writing a check for each of our bills instead of having the auto draft payment option. When you have auto draft, they go ahead and charge you (even if the amount is wrong) which takes even more time to spend time on the phone to jump through the hoops to get the refunds. For instance, our Verizon bill for June was over $600 and that was because they did not switch us to Unlimited talk and text in our plan (like we had asked them to) when we bought Brandon’s new phone in May. Now we have spent two months jumping through hoops to get the credit and it’s hard to know what our actual bill should be. Brandon and I were genuinely heartbroken as we saw the sin of the world so clearly through these bill discrepancies and deceitful ways of people trying to get extra dollars here and there. We have seen that we can’t put a ‘blanket’ statement over the fact of all people in all businesses trying to slide in a trick here or there. But we can say that it’s a battle out there and we have to be on guard. 

...you better believe we're doing our homework & finding the best bang for our buck!!

A few days after we went through this whole process with the budget, I was walking out of the Whole Foods and did a quick look over my receipt. I noticed that the bunch of grapes I bought was $8 and the tomato I bought was $6. Are you telling me that ONE tomato and a little bunch of grapes was going to be $14??! Well, I calmly pushed my cart through the double doors and walked around through the other set of doors by the Customer Service desk. I told the ladies that nothing was wrong with these items - I simply couldn’t pay $14 for one tomato and this little bunch of grapes. They totally understood and one of the ladies even told me that the sign by the grapes is deceiving - so much so that she even had to return the grapes she bought earlier in the week when she saw the total price. Goodness gracious!! Point and case...it’s a battle out there. We are learning that we have to look over our bills, receipts, and so forth with a fine tooth comb...and then not to feel bad when we need to bring up a discrepancy. Thankful to have Brandon as our fearless leader. He’s teaching me more and more each day that I can’t worry about what people think. Our end goal is to be good stewards of the money that is on loan to us from the Lord...

Closing statement from the man of the house: “I am thankful that Whit and I are on the same page about how it’s time to ‘go to war’ in a sense, being on guard at every corner for where our hard earned money is going. Ecclesiastes 1:18 says, ‘For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.’ I read this to us the other night - as a way to really put into words what we were feeling about going through our bills and seeing all the little issues.” 

Togetherness Without Words

As we were driving back from a ‘lil weekend getaway at our favorite place [Seaside, Florida], I commented: “Ya know, babe, I really do see that we can be together and enjoying quality time without always talking about something serious or even talking at all” and that’s when Brandon looked at me and said, “Babe, that’s got to be the blog topic for this week!!” 

For the longest time, I did not feel like we were really having great quality time if we were not talking. Growing up in my 'Christian girl bubble'...I had dreamed about the days I would have one day with my husband as we would spend the majority of our time talking about what we’re learning in The Word, when our next trip would be overseas to do missions, which night of the week we’d take dinner to the widow down the street, and so forth. When we were first married, I asked Brandon if we could get involved with some kind of ministry - to really invest our time in together and make an eternal difference. At first, I had pictured us spending time at the Nashville Rescue Mission or something. Little did I know that it would look like me being the Community Relations Manager at Mercy Ministries. Wow - God sure did fulfill my heart’s desire to do something that I was passionate about, that Brandon and I could both be involved in, that was literally our “mission field” in our backyard. 

My comment in the car coming back from the beach was really just to emphasize what special time we had just enjoyed by the ocean - not even talking about “world changer” topics or “how to be a better spouse” type of conversations. It was truly a sweet time to get away and be together - just the two of us - in the midst of a fun and busy summer. A summer that started out with a big move to a new city, weddings, babies, weekends at the lake, trips to California, and so forth. To go to our favorite little corner of the world and just eat cheese, sit in the shade, and read was just what we needed. Speaking of which, not only have I learned over time that you don’t always have to be talking when you’re together to have ‘quality time’...we have BOTH discovered a love for the following three things: cheese, shade and reading. Random...I know! Who would have thought when we were younger that one day we would have an appreciation for a good cheese [FYI: Whole Foods always has great samples of their fantastic cheeses!], that we would rather sit in the "umbrella forest" [Three umbrellas setup on the beach to provide a shady retreat on a hot summer day], and to choose "Summer Reading"...even when the required reading for school days is long gone! I do not think I have ever read a book before watching the movie in the theater...but that is my goal with reading The Help. And Brandon's book of the moment is The Rainmaker by John Grisham. Here's to many more days of enjoying the simple things...like cheese, shade & reading...while spending time with your favorite person...without always using "words"!!

Closing statement from the man of the house: “It was a pretty monumental moment when I realized that it clicked with Whit that quality time together without words is still special quality time. Sometimes at night when I am all 'talked out', I will even mention that I would love to spend time together...without words. Now it's fun to know that Whit gets what I mean by that. I'm not trying to put off having a solid, worthwhile conversation. There are sometimes just times where 'togetherness without words' is what says more than talking things through so much."

Company, Weddings, & Triple Headers

As we came home from our trips to California (my trip to Los Angeles and Brandon’s business trip to San Diego), I was excited about the “chill week” we had to look forward to in Birmingham. I didn’t have a clue how busy the chill week would be as it was packed with fun - yet busy things like having company, a good friends’ wedding weekend, and then a triple header day at the baseball park. Needless to say, there were a few “marriage moments” scattered here and there throughout the week.

One was when we went to pick up Whole Foods for dinner one night because company was coming to the house and we needed some good food (fast!) to eat. Let’s just be honest, I feel completely relaxed and at peace when I go in Whole Foods. I love looking at all the options, sampling the cheeses and the cherries, the color schemes of the store are soothing, and I always leave with a little hop in my step. I’ve noticed the trend lately that Brandon gets in there and feels pretty stressed. He loves the food, the samples, and so forth - but the main difference for him is the fact that the high prices make his heart race. He knows that we could make a piece of salmon, sweet potatoes, and asparagus for a LOT cheaper than we could buy it at the counter of Whole Foods. What I was trying to explain is that buying it there saves us the time of cooking it on these “need something fast” type of nights. The other main difference is that I can get full on a hearty salad there - where he would need to have three hearty salads (and maybe still something from the hot food bar) before he starts to feel satisfied in the stomach. We realized that we were both making good points - and it wouldn’t be a habit to go there for our every need. We will continue to do the majority of our grocery shopping at the Publix and Costco. This is just one of many comparisons where you realize that men and women see things differently sometime. No wonder someone wrote a book called, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Another moment that sticks out was when we were about to leave the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. It had been such a fun night and I was looking forward to going home that night and being together before the busy Saturday and Sunday came upon us. It was in the moment of the plan all of a sudden changing that the marriage moment occurred. Brandon decided to go and spend the night with the groom (which I was fully supportive of given all the circumstances)...it was just that we had planned on this night being the two of us and all of a sudden the plans were changing. The longer we’re married we see how Brandon is a-ok with the sudden change of plans and I like a little advance notice *wink* We were able to talk through all the expectations involved and really see where the other person was coming from - and also practice loving each other in the midst of these tough moments when you feel torn between two things. A huge thing that I am learning for the moments after we have these talks - is that I have to move on and not keep hashing through every detail. Brandon is so quick to forgive and forget with me. Sometimes I notice that it’s hard for me to forgive and truly let something go. In my head, I am often thinking, “I wish I hadn’t said this or that. Does Brandon really forgive me?” and so forth. This weekend I feel like I experienced firsthand the freedom that comes from believing that he has truly forgiven me and then seriously moving on and not being so hard on myself. Part of the Jesus Calling devotional on July 31st said, “Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.” And Matthew 28:20 reminds us that God is with us always. 

It’s amazing how as “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17), God brings us closer to himself and to each other. Not that we wanted to wish away the company, the weddings, or the triple header baseball game(s) of this past week and weekend - but it was refreshing to have two “normal” nights on Monday and Tuesday. It really does change everything when you can have quality time with one another and really give each other time to speak and time to listen. It was such a blessing to me on Monday night when Brandon walked in the door from work and wanted to go play tennis and “give me the night off” from cooking and dishes - so we ate dinner out!! Perspective is a funny thing. I probably would not have appreciated the tennis and Chipotle as much as I did this week had it not been for the learning moments of last week. Thank you, Lord, for giving me a husband that is willing to learn as we go and hold my hand as we walk this narrow road together. 

Closing statement from the man of the house: “Whit and I learned a lot about ourselves this past week. In God’s perfect timing, the pastor at the wedding on Saturday read the passage in 1 Corinthians 13 about LOVE. Verses 4-7 say, ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ We’ve heard this verse our whole lives but it stuck out to us in a whole new way after all we’ve been learning. God is still speaking through the WORD.”

Becoming Seasoned

You know when you’re younger and you call your Dad to tell him that you just got a flat tire? Or when you call your Dad to say your cell phone just got ran over by a car? Or when you call your Mom and say that your favorite pants got a stain that won’t come out? All those ups and downs never seem to rattle parents. I know that they don’t like to hear rough things like that - but my parents were always such steady people that never let the ups and downs of life “ruffle their feathers”. There’s much to be learned from this. When Brandon and I were talking about this concept this week - he went on to say, “Parents are seasoned. They have seen it all...so the normal little things that get our emotions more than others don’t seem to phase them as much.” 

I started off with that background so that it would make sense when I say that this week has been one of those “becoming seasoned” weeks for B and I. One of those where you look at each other and say, “If it’s not one thing it’s another”!! This is the first month where only one of the two of us are working instead of both of us. As you know, we are praying daily for a buyer to come along and buy our precious home in Nashville - so we are paying our Nashville home mortgage and our Birmingham apartment rent. On top of that, it’s nearing the end of the month so we’re taking a closer look into our pantry before running out to pick up something to eat. We’re really trying to be mindful of our budget. The day before we moved to Birmingham back in June, our camera (of many years) bit the dust. The camera peeps told us we’d be better off to just buy a new one rather than even try to get ours fixed. The time finally came to go camera shopping and find our new family camera. We were so excited about our camera decision and got it just in time for me to take it on my Mother/Daughter trip to California!! When the camera was only 48 hours, it was dropped by someone taking a photo and it skidded across the concrete flooring. The lens chipped and hasn’t been the same since - but it did make it OK through the end of the trip. Yesterday was my first day back in Birmingham since the trip, so I took it to the Best Buy to get them to take a look. Much to my dismay, I found out from the Geek Squad that this kind of accident is not covered in the 14 day warranty and that we’d have to buy a new camera. I thought I was going to croak. To make a very long story short (I asked many questions just to make SURE this was our only option!!) ... I purchased  new camera. The advice I had been given was to just bite the bullet because we couldn’t just use a broken camera for the next couple of years when it has all these issues just after ten days. Needless to say, I bit the bullet...bought the new camera (de ja vue!) and bought the extended warranty this time...no doubt about it. That way this kind of accident will be covered no matter what - the only thing it doesn’t cover is if it’s stolen or lost. So now we’ve purchased two new cameras in less than two weeks.

Cameras & Phones...Oh My!!
(Note: The camera in this photo is not the new family camera - this camera was on loan to us
from a sweet friend while we were in "camera limbo"!!)

Moving on to “Becoming Seasoned Part Two” of the story! When we bought Brandon’s iPhone back in May, we made sure to switch to the unlimited plan so that we would not go over on our minutes - since we knew we’d be accruing more minutes now that he was going to be using it so much more with his new job. When we got our phone bill at the end of June, we noticed that it was $600 something dollars. We couldn’t believe it. I spent over an hour one day on the phone with the phone peeps - trying to get to the bottom of the issue. Turns out that the guy we worked with back in May never switched us to the unlimited plan. Well, we are now on the unlimited plan - and after hours (literally!) of phone conversations - we are trying to get the overage amount credited to our account. Meanwhile back at the ranch, my phone has been doing this weird thing where it will die if I am talking longer than 10 seconds (not minutes...seconds!!) and so I can only talk on my phone if it’s plugged into a charger (in the wall or in the car). Needless to say, it was a blessing in disguise on my relaxing trip to California to not even have the option of visiting on the phone during the day when I was buy the pool or walking around - truly disconnected!! Now being back on the home turf, I needed a phone that worked. A friend in Birmingham connected me with the most helpful representative at the phone company - and I went there yesterday and this sweet lady gave me a new phone battery and my phone is much better. It will hold me over rather nicely until September when I will be an owner of the long awaited iPhone - more on that whole story later on!! When I was getting my phone fixed - I was able to talk with the woman about getting the credit to our account. Even though we are making progress with this, it seems like it’s going slow as Christmas. When I came home to update Brandon on this yesterday, that’s when it seemed like we were getting hit from every angle. $400+ charged to our phone account, buying two cameras in less than two weeks, on top of trying to watch each and every place we’re spending right now while I am looking for a job and while we’re praying for a buyer for our Nashville home. Whoooo! At the end of all these updates and conversations, we looked at each other and were truly asking ourselves, “How does this kind of thing seem to not even get a rise out of our parents?” OHH...’cause they are seasoned! They’ve been through these ups and downs before and seen that it’s part of life. 

We were able to step back from all these frustrating moments and just thank the Lord for eyes to see how blessed we are. Thank Him for stretching us and growing us. Thank Him for making us more like Him and not just keeping us the way we’ve always been. Thank Him for convicting us when we can feel the negative thoughts and words flooding our head and mouths. We want our mouths to be an overflow of the truth that is hidden in our hearts. [“For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45b] Thankful that we have each other to walk this road with and hold each other accountable to our words and actions. 

Closing statement from the man of the house: “It’s a battle out there in the ‘real’ world. You gotta fight to stay ahead. Setbacks will come - that’s a guarantee. You’ve seen two of ours! ... It’s never enjoyable but it’s part of the ‘seasoning’ process. In this case, Whit and I are trying to be good stewards with the money God has given us - we really want to handle it wisely.”

Not A Fan Of Ironing

photo from here

One morning when Brandon got up for work and I was still in bed, I heard him amongst the shaving in the bathroom, ask me if I could help him out by ironing his shirt for work. {insert cringe here} I do not like to iron - never have and don’t think I ever will! I stayed in sleepy mode and announced that I would not be able to iron his shirt. I went on to ask, “Why did you not ask me to do this last night?” (I am much more of a night owl than an early bird) He went on to say, “Love does not have a schedule, babe!” (In other words, if I loved him then I would get up and iron his shirt whether it be in the morning or at night!! He knows I love him...he was just being dramatic in his statement!!) 

Then we got into the discussion of dry cleaning vs. ironing. I think it would be worth every pretty penny to take his work shirts to be dry cleaned - but he knows we could save money by just ironing them ourselves. He does have a number of “non-iron” shirts that you can wash, put in the dryer, pull right out and they are ready to roll. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the shirts he has had since before the “non-iron” times, still need a little tender love and affection. So then we got to talking about a steamer. The people we know who have one of these say that they work like a charm! 

There were a number of reasons I did not pop right up at the first time I was asked to iron B’s shirt this morning. For one, I was still sleeeeeeping! Two, I do not like ironing and really wanted to stick to my guns on this one because I do think we need to take the shirts to be dry cleaned OR get a steamer. Three, I would have preferred that B ask me to do this the night before so that I could have cranked it out while I was awake or at least had some kind of warning!

The fact of the matter is - neither of us like to iron. Brandon says that it’s because we both have a few “perfectionist” tendencies and we can still see the wrinkles - even after the ironing is complete. Sounds like it’s time to invest in a steamer...

Closing statement from the man of the house: “This marriage moment has been a little growing pain for Whit and I. It's obvious that my expectation was for her to do the ironing - but I do understand that she doesn't like to iron - because neither do I!!"

Date Night To Celebrate

This week marks a big milestone for the Nall family. On Tuesday, I organized my last event with Mercy Ministries for this season. As you know, we moved to Birmingham on June 4 - but I have still been working part-time for Mercy to organize the Chattanooga Mercy Luncheon that was held yesterday at the Chattanooga Golf and Country Club. The past six weeks have been full of a lot of time in the computer lab at our apartment - since we do not have internet yet in our actual apartment. I have been focused on this event and really wanted to finish well. The luncheon went very smoothly on Tuesday and the Lord was truly glorified. 

On Sunday night when Brandon and I were talking through the plans for the week, he so kindly announced that he would like to take me on a date on Tuesday night when I got back from Chattanooga - to celebrate my past three years of working at Mercy. WOW! That meant so much to me!! We laugh with friends all the time (who are married without kids) how it’s like “date night” all the time since we get to spend so much quality time together during this season. Us girls always chime in though on how much it means when our men do step up and ask us out on an official “date”. There really is a difference between an official date where you get dressed up, etc. and just going to grab Chipotle on any general night. And don’t get me wrong - we’re thankful for the “any general nights” as well - it just means a lot when a “date night” is initiated. 

On Tuesday, Brandon surprised me and took me to this restaurant that he knew I would love called, “Flip Burger Boutique”. We went out on a limb and ordered items that we don’t usually order which was fun! I got the “lamburger” and B got the “heritage turkey”. Mine came with coriander lamb, tzaziki, goat cheese, arugula, tomato, red onion and marinated vegetables. B’s came with monterrey cheese, fresh avocado, pomegranate ketchup, and alfalfa sprouts! Simply delicious! We splurged and got an order of onion rings as well - YUM! At the beginning of dinner, Brandon gave a sweet toast for the past three years of hard work at Mercy. It has meant SO much to have Brandon’s full blessing and support since day one of me taking this job. Then the encouraging “marriage moment” of the week was when I felt loved and known by Brandon - in the fact that he invited me out on a date night to celebrate all the hard work. 

It’s truly been such a blessing to be part of an organization that is still changing lives. We’re still going to be a part of Mercy - it’s just going to look different than being in the corporate office day in and day out. Right now God has us on a new adventure in Birmingham, and I am excited about diving in and getting plugged in with this community. I still look forward to talking with people who want to be part of a life changing ministry - because I know where to point them!!

Closing statement from the man of the house: “I really do know how much ‘date nights’ mean to Whit and it was the least I could do to love her in this way. I wanted her to know that her hard work and determination over the past couple of years has meant so much to me - as God has used her to help support our family as well. Her hard work, motivation, and persistence was something that I noticed in her from the get go - even when we were dating.”

The Art Of Conversation

This past long weekend, we spent the 4th of July holiday with some of my friends from Auburn, their husbands, parents, siblings, and friends! It was a great time to unplug, getaway, spend time together, and be with friends. It was a great balance because there were times with just the two of us, reading in the still of the morning before everyone had gotten up - as we sipped on coffee and rocked in the chairs overlooking the lake...and then there were times when the boys could be boys and play “spike ball” and admit to the fact that they like any competition or game where there are ‘winners and losers’!! During those times, the girls would play with the babies, take pictures, laugh and eat cherries!

Breathtaking view of the lake!!

One night, a bunch of us were are circled in the living room talking. The mom in the group was sharing the story of how she and her husband dated for two weeks and then got engaged. Everyone was all ears...well, all of the girls at least! I do remember there being a baseball game on TV and the boys were watching a little of that and listening to some of the story. After her story was over, I remember she looked at me and asked, “Whitney, how long did you and Brandon date?” [This is when the marriage moment occurred]

Sweet fellowship in this circle!

I proceeded to tell her that Brandon officially asked me to “be his girlfriend” at the end of February and then proposed on April 28th. Then I went in to a bit of the background details which included the part of the story where Brandon and I met at the Passion conference in January 2007, saw each other for the second time ever in November 2007 at the Auburn vs. Alabama football game (and I mentioned the part about emailing once a month in between January and November), then Brandon started calling and we would talk a few times a week starting in January 2008, then Brandon and his brother came up to Nashville for a visit in January for a men’s hunting and fellowship weekend, and then we met in Birmingham (!!) for our first date towards the end of January...and about that time is where Brandon started squeezing my hand tightly to get my attention and playfully said, “Babe...she just asked how long we dated!!!” [In other words, I had already given way too many details according to him and it was time to wrap it up] After everyone had gotten a little giggle out of B’s comment to me, our story was wrapped up and now it was time to move along in the circle to ask the next person some questions about them. You can imagine the wheels that were turning in my head and there would obviously be an end to this conversation - with B and I - later on when it’s just the two of us!!

Blast from the past pic from the day I became B's girlfriend!!

Later that night, we talked through both points of view of the previous conversation. My point was that I never really feel like we have a cut and dry answer on how long we dated because there’s so much more to the story then just saying we “technically” dated for two months. I asked Brandon how he would have worded the answer to the question I was asked and he said that he would have said, “We started dating in January, got engaged in April, and got married in September”. He was also saying that people are always welcome to ask more questions - but we don’t just need to automatically give them all the details when that’s not what they asked for. As a girl, I see it from the point of view that the details are helpful in putting everything in perspective and that the details give a more well-rounded view of the entire story. I did listen to Brandon and see where he was coming from and even got asked a similar question the following day and was able to put my “new answer” into practice! This marriage moment was all about learning to keep it short and sweet. This doesn’t mean that it will always have to be short and sweet - each situation is different. Brandon acknowledged that as well. It all depends on the setting, the timing, the people, etc. This was a good lesson for us to learn! We got quite a kick out of the stark difference in our communication styles. 

Closing statement from the man of the house: “As you can see from this story, Whit and I talk differently. Sometimes that can be difficult when we’re in the same conversation because we see things from a different perspective. After talking it through, we were able to see the strengths and weaknesses in each person’s point of view and come together to a place that we agreed upon. No wonder people always say ‘communication is key in marriage’...Whit and I totally agree on that!!”