Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Girl Time & Guy Time

Being with my giggly girls and eating at the latest and great frozen yogurt spot is just what this girl needs from time to time. In fact, I meet each Monday night with two of my soul sisters who know what’s going on in my life and can tell by a simple look what kind of day I’ve had.

Brandon has a group of guys that he can text in one minute and be playing basketball with in the next. They all share a common love for getting out and running around and it is really energizing for him to go hang out with them for a Saturday afternoon sometimes. 
I grew up going to an all girls high school and can be the first to say that I truly value time with my girls. It’s a life giving thing to sit down and be understood by the girls. Beth Moore says in So Long, Insecurity that (paraphrasing) we can’t expect our girls to be our guys and we sure don’t want our guys to be our girls. She says, “I once heard a comedian on television say that he’d finally come to conclusion that what a woman wants in a man is another woman. Isn’t that the truth? Don’t we frequently wish our men were more sensitive and nurturing? Don’t we wish they liked to eat at Souper Salad, see a good chick flick, and talk afterward about how it made them feel?” Then she goes on to say, “And then there are other times when we think if we have to hear another woman whine, we’re going to put our heads in the washing machine and hold our breath. You know you’re on the verge of unrealistic expectations when you want to tell your girlfriend to get some hair on her chest and take her situation like a man.” 
The truth is, there have been times when I said I supported Brandon going to hang out with friends on an early Saturday, when really I wished he was hanging with me running errands. It was after one bad round of Hobby Lobby and TJ Maxx, with Brandon with me, that I realized that it’s got to be ok for him to not be with me all the time. It was from that point on that we developed the saying of “you have my blessing” to go hang out with the guys. Now when Brandon is asking to do something, he asks first by saying, “Do I have your blessing?” It’s been a neat way for us to bond because he doesn’t want me to just say “yes” to him going and hanging out but then back at home holding a grudge that he’s not hanging out with me. It makes all the difference in the world when we know we have each other’s blessing for whatever activity with our guys and girls may come up. 
Basketball outings with the boys are so much more enjoyable for him when he knows his main squeeze has given her blessing. And dinner with the ladies to our favorite “girly” new restaurant around town are so much more delightful for me when I know that he has given me his blessing for our time. This weekend Brandon was in Baton Rouge hanging out with a family he knew from his LSU days and giving baseball pitching lessons to their son while I was hanging out with my family in Chattanooga. It was an enjoyable time for both of us knowing that we had each other’s full blessing. 
Closing statement from the man of the house: “This post is really just about love and encouragement. It means a lot to me when Whit encourages me (aka: gives me her blessing) to do things that I really want to do. Knowing that she is fully supportive,  makes me feel love and respected.” 


  1. Whit, you all are so wise and blessed to have figured this out and embraced it so early in your marriage.

  2. Amen to all this Whit! As thankful as I've been for all our time to "leave and cleave" to each other the past 2 years we've lived in Michigan, THIS is what we've been missing out on! I have had almost ZERO "girl time" in the past 2 and 1/2 years - same for Rusty with "guy time". We know it's not healthy for us (or our marriage) but we haven't had any way to remedy it (believe me, we've tried!) It's one of the reasons we know we need to move back down south; so we can be more "relationally healthy" and have real community with girls and guys (and with couples in our stage of life). Looking at moving to Nashville or B'ham sometime this summer or fall! Please pray for God to prepare the way!