As we came home from our trips to California (my trip to Los Angeles and Brandon’s business trip to San Diego), I was excited about the “chill week” we had to look forward to in Birmingham. I didn’t have a clue how busy the chill week would be as it was packed with fun - yet busy things like having company, a good friends’ wedding weekend, and then a triple header day at the baseball park. Needless to say, there were a few “marriage moments” scattered here and there throughout the week.
One was when we went to pick up Whole Foods for dinner one night because company was coming to the house and we needed some good food (fast!) to eat. Let’s just be honest, I feel completely relaxed and at peace when I go in Whole Foods. I love looking at all the options, sampling the cheeses and the cherries, the color schemes of the store are soothing, and I always leave with a little hop in my step. I’ve noticed the trend lately that Brandon gets in there and feels pretty stressed. He loves the food, the samples, and so forth - but the main difference for him is the fact that the high prices make his heart race. He knows that we could make a piece of salmon, sweet potatoes, and asparagus for a LOT cheaper than we could buy it at the counter of Whole Foods. What I was trying to explain is that buying it there saves us the time of cooking it on these “need something fast” type of nights. The other main difference is that I can get full on a hearty salad there - where he would need to have three hearty salads (and maybe still something from the hot food bar) before he starts to feel satisfied in the stomach. We realized that we were both making good points - and it wouldn’t be a habit to go there for our every need. We will continue to do the majority of our grocery shopping at the Publix and Costco. This is just one of many comparisons where you realize that men and women see things differently sometime. No wonder someone wrote a book called, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
Another moment that sticks out was when we were about to leave the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. It had been such a fun night and I was looking forward to going home that night and being together before the busy Saturday and Sunday came upon us. It was in the moment of the plan all of a sudden changing that the marriage moment occurred. Brandon decided to go and spend the night with the groom (which I was fully supportive of given all the circumstances)...it was just that we had planned on this night being the two of us and all of a sudden the plans were changing. The longer we’re married we see how Brandon is a-ok with the sudden change of plans and I like a little advance notice *wink* We were able to talk through all the expectations involved and really see where the other person was coming from - and also practice loving each other in the midst of these tough moments when you feel torn between two things. A huge thing that I am learning for the moments after we have these talks - is that I have to move on and not keep hashing through every detail. Brandon is so quick to forgive and forget with me. Sometimes I notice that it’s hard for me to forgive and truly let something go. In my head, I am often thinking, “I wish I hadn’t said this or that. Does Brandon really forgive me?” and so forth. This weekend I feel like I experienced firsthand the freedom that comes from believing that he has truly forgiven me and then seriously moving on and not being so hard on myself. Part of the Jesus Calling devotional on July 31st said, “Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.” And Matthew 28:20 reminds us that God is with us always.
It’s amazing how as “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17), God brings us closer to himself and to each other. Not that we wanted to wish away the company, the weddings, or the triple header baseball game(s) of this past week and weekend - but it was refreshing to have two “normal” nights on Monday and Tuesday. It really does change everything when you can have quality time with one another and really give each other time to speak and time to listen. It was such a blessing to me on Monday night when Brandon walked in the door from work and wanted to go play tennis and “give me the night off” from cooking and dishes - so we ate dinner out!! Perspective is a funny thing. I probably would not have appreciated the tennis and Chipotle as much as I did this week had it not been for the learning moments of last week. Thank you, Lord, for giving me a husband that is willing to learn as we go and hold my hand as we walk this narrow road together.
Closing statement from the man of the house: “Whit and I learned a lot about ourselves this past week. In God’s perfect timing, the pastor at the wedding on Saturday read the passage in 1 Corinthians 13 about LOVE. Verses 4-7 say, ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ We’ve heard this verse our whole lives but it stuck out to us in a whole new way after all we’ve been learning. God is still speaking through the WORD.”